Marvel's Daredevil: The Show Without Fear

Marvel has done it again. They took on the superhero movie genre by storm and went where no movie has gone before with The Avengers, and now they boldly go where no superhero TV has gone before with Daredevil. This is a work of art, this is pioneering work. Genre breaking, groundbreaking stuff. If the superhero TV programs go from good to great one day, we can all look back and say THIS is where it all started.

This is the Game of Thrones, The Wire, The Dexter, the Battlestar Galactica of superhero TV. They got everything right. The tone, the characters, the story, the grit, the empathy, everything. The journey of Matt Murdock from concerned citizen to masked vigilante is perfectly captured. The love for the source material permeates the series. Every time Daredevil takes on a boxing stance, you remember his father Battling Jack Murdock. Every cut, every wound you feel is a lesson that will one day complete the education of Matt's journey to the epic personality he will become.

I cannot thank the people at Marvel enough for this. There are a lot of passionate, dedicated and talented people at Marvel working on these gems and I have to say Kevin Feige, as their leader, is a godsend to us comic fans. He truly gets what makes each of these characters special to us fans, and more importantly understands that what makes it special to fans is what will make it special to people who have no clue about this character.

The casting is perfect. The characters are all fleshed out beautifully. Marvel understood that you cannot tell a compelling story without a great villain, and Vincent D'Onofrio gives a tremendous performance as Wilson Fisk. Because this is not just the journey of Matt from citizen to Daredevil, it is also the journey of Wilson Fisk from conflicted mob boss to Kingpin.

With Daredevil, Marvel has thrown the gauntlet to all other creators. There are no more boundaries. No more treading softly. It's time for big bold steps. Lets hope Daredevil can show the others how to make a show without fear.

Daze of Future Past

Just got back form watching the latest X-men movie, Days of Future Past. An excellent outing. Really appreciated the fact that Brian Singer had a vision, and he stuck to it without delivering an "avengers type" movie. The new X-men film is as different from The Avengers as Sherlock is from Breaking Bad. Be that as it may, i do have some nit picks.

For one, i think the X-men franchise will always suffer because the director has never embraced the comics wholeheartedly. I'm not just talking about the lack of costumes, and yes the lack of costumes does bother me. I'm talking about the movies following a very different path than the comics. I understand, support and insist on making necessary changes in content or form when translating a story from one medium to another (in this case, from comics to movie). But i also insist on adhering to the spirit of the original content, and that's where Singer lets me down every time. Brian Singer has already said that he is not a comics fan. He set out to do the Superman Returns movie because he was a big fan of the Richard Donner Superman film from the seventies. That, while very cute, is really the worst reason for wanting to make a superman movie. You gotta be a fan of the lore, you gotta respect the material, if you want to make a superman movie. Or any comic movie.

Back when Fox made the first X-men movie, it was clear what the direction from the studio was to Singer - "Wolverine is the hit character, so make the movie centered around Wolverine". That was fine for that time. But that's not good enough for me now. Because now we live in the AIM era. That's "After Iron Man" era. With Iron Man, who was a little known character to the public in general and also a not so heavy hitter in the comic scene in terms of popularity or sales, Marvel showed the world that a movie with good story, good direction, good acting and a lot of heart can kick major ass. And after that Marvel has not looked back since. So if it can work for Iron Man, then why the fuck are Fox/Singer STILL ignoring the importance and impact of Scott Summers (Cyclops) in the X-franchise?

The story of X-men has always been the story of 4 people in general, and of those 4, Scott Summers stands out by a mile. He is the conflicted leader, the big brother, the faltering husband, and ultimately the man with the plan in the X-universe. He more than any other has guided the destiny of the band of X-mutants. And we have seen none of that in ANY OF THE X MOVIES TILL DATE.

Marvel embraces the comics, while changing and adapting where they need to. And it works every time...because they embrace the comics. They are not ashamed by anything, they don't think it will seem ridiculous, they don't think they have a better "vision" of the characters than the years and bodies of loving work that already exists.

And that, for me, is the next step for Fox and Brian Singer. I really WANT to see Logan in the wolverine costume. I really WANT to see Scott being the tremendous leader that he is. I REALLY WANT to see Brian Singer embrace the comics. It can only be good for the soul. (And the bank account)

Avenged

That's right. I am a big time comic book fan. Anything that bends, distorts, challenges reality - i am a fan. and the dream of all comic/fantasy geeks? to see their beloved stories on the silver screen. So it was a real hard time for me when i was growing up. The Batman movie phenomenon in the 90s? i had to live through it. Have to say though, the first Batman film in 1989 was a decent one. It wasn't a Batman film per se, but it was a good film about the mythos of Batman. Through the 'vison' of Tim Burton. And therein lies the  problem. Who the fuck is Tim fucking Burton to come and impose his vison on a decades old beloved fan property? Who is he to say, "THIS is how Batman should be"? No, no, i want the director of a Batman film to say "This is how the FANS want Batman to be". Respect for source material is paramount. not a slavish respect, where every tiny detail should be adhered to, but a healthy respect for the spirit of the stories.

I remember i used to tell my other geek friends that things would change. People like us, geeks, were growing up all over the world, and they would take over. they would reject the so called "visions" of hollywood directors and they would make movies that THEY want to see, movies that WE want to see.   And it happened. With Spider-man. With Batman Begins. With X-men. and then came orgasm time when Marvel finally owned their own production studio and started making a movie about a b-list character called Iron Man.

Really, there is 'before Iron Man' and 'after Iron Man'. Before, we never really knew what to expect from a superhero movie, unless it was Nolan doing Batman. Spider-Man was a surprise. So was X-men. we never assumed, or took for granted, that an upcoming superhero movie would be good. And we were right to be skeptics...remember Daredevil? the Ang-Lee Hulk ("Don't make me Ang-Lee, you won't like me when i am Ang-Lee")? the Punisher movies? Elektra? Catwoman? It was mostly shit.

But then came Marvel and Iron Man. Iron Man was literally marvel's knight in shining armor for us starving comics fans. We couldn't get enough, and we were ecstatic to see that the whole world was with us on this one! no one could get enough! And then marvel made their master plan. Then came Iron Man 2, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America, and some were excellent, some sort of average but you knew, you just KNEW that the guys making these movies are doing it from the heart. It felt right.

Suddenly you had people who never even knew comics existed being as excited about watching super-hero movies as a typical geek. And thats how it should be. i always wondered if you can make movies like Predator, Terminator 2 or Robocop, why not good comic movies? These movies are essentially fantasy/sci-fi stories, exactly what superhero comics are. you didn't need to read 30 years of back stories to enjoy the Robocop movie. And the Marvel guys understood this. and they did it right. And it all came to a head this summer with the release of what to my very biased opinion is the greatest movie of all time, The Avengers. The Avengers is a defiant challenge, a rousing call, that superhero movies are good, superhero movies are fun, and superhero movies are here to stay.

What a wonderful time to be alive!

Ties that Blind

For the last 20 years or so a new breed of film makers have come to the fore, makers who are geeks and fans first and film makers 2^nd. We see their work all around us. Turn on the TV and watch Dexter, Battlestar Galactica, Lost, Alias, 24, Law and Order, Monk, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Turn on the movies and watch Mission Impossible 3, Clerks, Dogma, The Dark Knight, Up, Cloverfield, Star Trek, Iron Man 1 and 2, the new Incredible Hulk directed by Louis Letterrier, Lord of the Rings, Serenity, Kick Ass, Ring, Grudge.

I call them a new breed because they've been thinking about films, be it TV or Movie, in a different way. They've dumped conventional thinking into the toilet and set out to tell a more honest, a more realistic and as a result a far more interesting story. I've watched Iron Man 2 this summer in the US. The hall was packed, I was there with my girl friend, her sister and her husband. Immediately beside us and behind us were people whose average age was 40+. We LOVED the movie. All of us. Everyone clapped when the movie ended. It was complete entertainment. We were all fulfilled. So imagine my surprise when I found a lot of average reviews of the movie on the net from reputed reviewers. Even from people who I revere and adore, namely Orson Scott Card, genius science fiction writer. They all enjoyed the movie, but compared it unfavorably to Iron Man 1. They found a hundred and one flaws. The story was too convoluted, there wasn't enough characterization, tying the movie to the greater marvel universe was a distraction for the common audience bla bla bla etc. So I came back to Dhaka slightly dazed and confused. And I waited for the DVD to arrive. I had to watch the movie again. Was I so biased about superheroes that I had got the wrong impression? Was I such a bubble head that the big screen and the pop corn and the coke and loud explosions blinded me to the rotten core of the movie?

So just before the Eid vacations, I got my hands on a copy of the Iron Man 2 DVD. And I sat to watch it with my good friend and Bhoutist Gibran. And you know what? I was blown away AGAIN. This time I watched the movie in total analytic and geek fashion. We stopped the movie several times to discuss a plot point or a sequence, we rewound to watch a particular delicious actions sequence again, etc etc. And at the end of the movie I asked what Gibran thought of it. He said, “dost this is BETTER than Iron Man 1”. And I was like, “exactly!” So then we got to discussing how in hell was this movie getting lukewarm reviews. And this is the conclusion we reached.

Its all to do with this new style of film making. Its all about understated drama. From our childhood we have been brainwashed into watching grand moments in film delivered in a grand fashion with the appropriate music and stylish camera treatment, sometimes in slow motion, and the melodramatic dialogue so that there's no way in the world you miss out on the fact that THIS IS A DRAMATIC MOMENT. Now however, we have this new breed who think that if your story is interesting enough, the moment will stand out on its own. So we get a lot of fast cuts, lots of hand held camera, and sometimes no music. The dialogs between people feel like real conversations instead of theatrical dialogs which belong on Broadway. But since we have been brainwashed into thinking “when Superman saves the girl falling from the building there will be dramatic camera work, a climactic music and cheesy dialog”, we get disturbed when we don't see these things. In Iron Man 1, the first action sequence with the proper Iron Man armor in that village has no slow motion camera work, no music, no dialogs from Iron Man. That is one of the BEST superhero action sequences I have even seen. In Iron Man 2, we have two wonderful antagonists played by Micky Rourke and Sam Rockwell. They put in steller performances. No cheesy dialogs, no “you can't stop me iron man, I will rule the world” shit. And for some of us, it was too shocking I guess. Where were the stuff of blockbuster Hollywood that we were so familiar with?

So the next question was, then how come I didn't have a problem with this new style of Hollywood movies? I think its because I never liked the old Superhero movies. I mean yes I enjoyed Superman and the Tim Burton Batman, but that was more on a “beggars can't be choosers” basis. And this new style of movie making, I think that’s how I’ve been playing movies in my head for a long time. This is what I wanted to see on screen for a long time. So when I finally saw these films and TV series, for me it was like coming home. And fortunately for me, even though Iron Man 2 got lukewarm reviews, it made a hell of a lot of money. So these film makers are not going away.

It's good to be alive.

mixed feelings

What song to put in a mixed album -- something everyone will like? Or something the band wants to do right here right now? This dilemma of choice has been plaguing artists since the dawn of time. Roger Waters once said something interesting in an interview. He was talking about the early days of Pink Floyd and how people would come up to him and ask "why do you guys do such dark songs? can't you do some lighter, more fun stuff?" Waters then went on to say that what those people don't know is that the artist does not control the art. I'm talking about all good/great artists in their fields, from Van Gogh to Mozart to Rabindranath, Nazrul, to Hitchcock and Spielberg and JJ Abrams to Lep Zep, Deep Purple, Maiden, Metallica to Asimov to Satyajit Ray.

The Artist does not control the art. There's something inside the artist at that particular point in time which is a culmination and a reflection of his emotions, actions, surroundings etc. And anything the artist creates at that point will be the product of those things at that point in time. If the artist is lucky, his work will be well received.

Every time i sat down with my band Cryptic Fate for a mixed album song, the only thing we cared about was sounding different from the 12 other bands that will be in that album. "Different" is a loaded word in the world of creativity. Everyone wants to be "different", everyone is working on a "different" angle. And at the end of the day, it turns out (to your horror) you are "different" in exactly the same way 6 other bands are "different". Or you are "different" because you were creative with your tempo and tune sense. Be that as it may, being "different" became our magnum opus motivation for every mixed album song. And its worked out pretty well so far. Just recently two of our songs were released, one as a radio single (Tepantor) on Radio Foorti, and the other (Ondho) on a mixed double album called "rock 404\505". Why two songs at the same time? Well as i said, the artist does not control the art. We did the Cryptic Fate thing for the mixed album and hopefully delivered something "different" than the 29, yes TWENTY NINE other bands haha. And the Radio single? i had this poppish tune in my head that i had to get out and i don't like solo projects so i used all my cards to get my band to play the song and then Radio foorti graciously released it. So after 4 years of Silence, the Fate engine is roaring back to life. Stick around. It will be interesting.

Princess and the Frog

On this auspicious day (yes, that's Victory Day), I just have one thing to say: Disney's ONLY African American protagonist is the new Princess in 'Princess and the Frog'. But what makes me happy is that she looks more deshi than African American. So Disney finally got it right? I think so. Unless you start questioning why she falls in love with a White Prince, like Conan just did.


Bijoy dibosh'r shubhechha shobai k!

Random thoughts

1.The one hour premier of Scrubs was interesting. You won't believe it, but J.D. and Turk are now teaching! Wasn't paying a whole lot of attention, but if I did, I'm sure I'd have enjoyed it more.

2. Obama's speech on sending more troops to Afghanistan.
With unemployment rates hitting 10.8% everyone's worried, even though the word is that the economy's getting better. Not for everyone, I would say. While Obama's trying to set up programs to tackle the problems he inherited, the war in Afghanistan is overshadowing everything else. At least for now. There's a 50-50 consensus on whether or not more troops should be sent to Afghanistan, but my hunch is, people just want to pull out. No one expected it to take so long. And now people are tired. I am. And I'm not even American.

3. It's interesting how Democrats are the ones who take the heat for increased government spending on social welfare programs when it was Nixon, the paradoxical president, who increased spending on programs like EITC, which, by far, is the most expensive (but effective) anti-poverty program. Also interesting, how he campaigned on law and order and then resigned for his connection with the Watergate scandal.

4. Relationships are funny. All types. What's funnier is that people in the relationship often have very different takes on what goes on in it. That's probably more sad than funny.

5. Everyone's getting swine flu I think. They just don't know it. That's the only thing that's going around. So if you're sick with symptoms like fever, headache, sore throat and the like, you probably have the flu. Fight it with Vitamin C. Don't let it reach the stage where you get a bacterial infection. That can be deadly.

6. Life's short. Live it.

7. I have work to do and I'm procastinating. Why? Beats me. God knows this only hurts me. No one else. Yet, I can't bring myself to get some work done.

Stranger in the mirror

A strand of light landed on my face, forcing me to turn away from it. I'm sensitive to light; it makes me cry. I don't know why that happens. I can't even remember when this started.
But it was too late. Tears rolled down my eyes. Once they roll, I can't stop it anymore. Gulping, I looked around me, the tears forming little droplets on my jacket. A therapist once told me that I am troubled, deep down. Told me that I am essentially very very sad. In a word, depressed. Gave me a couple of tablets to deal with it. I tried it for a while.

Meds for depression was seen as a novel idea when they first entered the social fabric of this nation, this world even. People with mental illness were not destined to end up in Pabna if they were in Bangladesh, or the suburban institutions that housed the physically and mentally ill in the U.S. They were, all of a sudden, allowed to be part of the community, part of real life. I was no different. I was allowed to merge with the crowds, lead a life like everyone else. I wasn't forced to be surrounded by calming white walls. The urban jungle was not seen as an aggravating agent.

Yet, peace eluded me. For a long, long time. And now I am a stranger, even to myself.


(c) Error in Design

:P

"The latest consumer item to be downsized this recession is breasts." Read more here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vanessa-richmond/breasts-shrink-with-econo_b_263721.html

Endowed women are smarter? Says some Chicago scientists:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/11/12/nation/5092076&sec=nation

nerdy = sexy?

Huff post analysis:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vanessa-richmond/are-nerdy-girls-sexy-now_b_108056.html

My 2 cents:

Why does everything have to be about feminism and the rights of women. Why do women have to act according to societal norms as portrayed by the media. Not all geeks are ugly - never were. And make up does not necessarily make someone pretty (even though it often can help, a lot). The article talks about the modern day geeks looking like cheerleaders, as if that's a good thing. I wonder when people will just start being them. When WOMEN will start living their lives. Or maybe they do. It's just that they're not written about. We, as a society, like putting people in boxes. We like labels. We pathologize. Ki j hobe.

Checkers

Linking marriage and terrorism - interesting analysis here:
http://www.pickledpolitics.com/archives/6493

And what's up with African American stars? Can they NOT keep negative attention away? OJ, Chris Brown and now Mike Tyson. What's up with that?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/11/mike-tysons-lax-paparazzi_n_354788.html

Speaking of AA, have anyone seen Michael Jackson's movie? I haven't. Want to. Soon. Someone get me a bootleg? :P Just kidding. I'm anti piracy. Well, not really. I don't care.

Fox and Other Animals

'It seems like Obama wants to be his own man when it comes to things in Afghanistan...' says the Fox newscaster. It appears, Obama wants to send more troops to Afghanistan.

I like Obama. But I can't agree that sending off more people to Afghanistan is the answer. I don't support "Support the Troops" stuff, but that's not because I'm anti-Army; I am anti government policies that interefere with the polictics and affairs of other countries. I didn't support US intervention in Rwanda or Sarajevo, and I don't support US intervension in Iraq. Afghanistan made sense, but not like this, not at this cost. And not only because the Afghans continue to suffer, but because everyone does. The US, the Afghans, and everyone involved.

My heart especially goes out to those kids who were dropped off in Afghanistan or Iraq, in the middle off no where at age 19. The kids who form the Army of the United States.

Where did the sudden empathy come from? Perhaps my plane ride to Texas.

I was sitting next to a 23 year old from the Air Force, who just returned from Afghanistan. He said, "I just want to come home, I've had enough", when I asked what he thinks about sending more troops there. He talked about his partner who lost a limb to Soviet landmines still planted across Afghanistan; he talked about an Afghan dwarf who sells trinkets right next to their base; he told me about the 13 year old boy who was married to multiple women in a village in Afghanistan. He showed me pictures of the dwarf, the boy, and himself in uniform. He showed me pictures of Afghanistan that he had taken from a copter. And my heart went out to him. At age 23, he has seen much more than he should have. He said, 'I feel bad when people support the bombing of army personnel in Afghanistan or Iraq. That means they want me to die'. I tried explaining that it was government policy that people were against, it was not them. I tried to explain to him how it was unfair that the people who were sending them off to war were not sending their own children off. I tried to get him to think about himself, not the country. And his maturity amazed me. I was getting upset by the injustice of it all, but he was calm. He smiled, and he said I didn't look as old as I was.

It was a long flight, but it flew by quickly. And at the end of it all, I was humbled, and sad. That 23 year old is just a few years older than my own brother, and I can't imagine sending him off to war. And yet there he was, forced to take on responsibility for himself and his country.

crisis pains and rants

The crisis on infinite earths in 1985 was great because of its pioneer values. "Worlds will live, worlds will die, and the universe will never be the same". Hell of a line. Then came the entire Infinite crisis mega event in 2006 and that wasn't too bad. it was very good infact, especially the way the story was built up in all the DC titles over the preceding year, which got an explosive start with 'identity crisis", my all time favorite "event". Then came Final crisis, written by Grant Morrisson. Well Grant, you did exactly what i was afraid you would do. Take a huge universe affectiong story and fuck it up with bad story telling. I have not yet finished reading the 7 issue series, will start reading the last part infact, but the only issue i have liked so far is DC Universe Zero, which Grant co-wrote with Geoff Johns (my hero!!). Grant always has trouble with large scale stories. I noticed it in his JLA days, but there he had only around 7 characters to deal with and so succeeded in telling some good stories. But with crisis, his weaknesses shine out like the light from the green lantern power battery. Characters come and go without explanation, events happen which don't make sense, the story shifts from one focus to another without any link -- its all rubbish. Its very sad really, because Grant is a great writer. He should have just worked on the basic story and let Johns handle the breakdown and actually dialogues. For example, Johns wrote the accompanying story for Final Crisis -- Legion of 3 worlds. It has hundreds of characters, multiple planets and timelines and yet IT ALL MAKES SENSE. I am LOVING this storyline. All the incarnations of the legion come together to kick superman-prime'r butt and alnog the way we are treated to amazing moments and revelations, just like the Sinestro Corps War.

Geoff Johns, you da man. Grant Morrison, go back to writing single character books.

Conan and I, and other stories

Conan O'Brien is growing on me. And I think he's definitely going to end up apologizing to former Pres Clinton for his comments about how in the year 3000 he will go to a N.Korean massage parlor to discuss his release after negotiating the release of two female journalists :P And I also think his take on the Clunkers for Cash program is hilarious. Even better is HIS version of the program! The guy wants to find the worst car in America and give the owner a Lexus hybrid! He may not be a genius, but he tries, and in my books, that's good enough. Plus, genius is overrated. And in our country, it's over-overrated. Seriously, how many times did you hear that the 'first boy/girl' in your class was a genius? Probably all through your school life. But is s/he REALLY a genius? Afraid not. They turned out to be just like everyone else, methinks (if not worse). Not their fault. Bangladeshi school systems are proponents of 'mukhosto biddai shokol bidda', and anyone who manages to memorize pages and pages of textbook print end up being 'brilliant students'. Someone pointed out to me how this promotes plagiarism and wards off original thought and creativity. All I can say is, I completely agree.


I also wonder why are the Jonas Brothers so popular. Is it because people generally like to have idols to look up to? Or are they genuinely good musicians? They're on Conan and they seem like nice kids, but given how much clout they have, I wonder if they realize how they can shape the mindset of the young ones that idolize them. But then, they're probably too young to take responsibily for anything. Or too dumb.

Good day for Hispanics, today. I'm indifferent, but I see that many people are elated. Interesting is how both Obama and Sonia (yes, I'm on first name basis with them) have similar backgrounds, and how they worked hard to get on top. Hard work really pays off, appears to be the message that they're sending out (whoever they are). But I think people also need luck. Hard work and a little bit of luck = the magic formula for success. So, good luck to everyone who's reading this, and myself :)

Till later, be good.

9 simple things that women want (from yahoo!)

Besides the meaning of life and the ingredients of hot dogs, many a man has questioned, "What exactly do women want?" We're not playing coy here, we know we're complex creatures. And, true, we operate on a different wavelength than men.

But women aren't exactly the great mystery that men often make us out to be. The proof? We polled the YourTango staff and compiled a list of 9 simple things women want. Note: you won't find diamond rings or other fancy things anywhere on this list. While many women really do want luxury goods from men, when you break it down they are just physical representations of some of the points on this list. We promise.

1. Respect. Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies, and minds. You don't have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.

2. Romance. It's another night on the couch with takeout and TiVo? Just because we're staying in doesn't mean the evening can't be romantic. Light a few candles and see where the night leads. Treat us like your girlfriend, even after we become your wife. Date nights, physical affection in the car, kissing like when we first started dating -- all of the things that made us fall in love with you don't have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids to be bathed. Bring home flowers for no reason. We're not talking $100 bouquets of roses here. Even the $10 bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make us smile.

3. Time. We understand relationships can't be all wine and roses; simply making the time to be with us and treating us like your top priority says "love" more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could. This includes helping around the house. The realities of a 21st-century relationship are that both partners probably work. If you happen to get home before we do, why not vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry? If you take the garbage out without being asked, chances are you'll be getting a big ole smooch when you come back.

4. Dinner. Of the homemade variety. You may not be good at cooking and you may not know how to boil water. But greeting us at the door after a long day with fish sticks (or whatever you can wrastle up) makes us swoon, because it shows that you've been thinking about us and our hectic day.

5. Communication. Women are vocal creatures. We know you love us, but it's nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren't, but the reality is that we often notice our wobbly thighs and forget about our gorgeous eyes. So let us know when you think we're hot. Tell us we're beautiful. It helps us feel good. Words of appreciation aren't half-bad either. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn't have to be over the top, just let us know that you see the effort we put in, and you're grateful.

6. Consistency. This doesn't mean be boring and predictable. It means that we know you will (usually -- no one is perfect!) give us the love and support we need. Knowing that you're coming at this with the same desires and energy as we are goes a long way to making us feel secure.

7. Engagement. Of the mental kind, not the "I'm getting married in the morning" kind. You don't have to like everything we like (we might be a little concerned if you do), but showing interest in our passions, be it career-related, a sport, or a hobby, goes a long way. Listen when we talk to you. We're not speaking just so we can hear our own voice; we want to connect with you and this is one valuable way we do this. This also means paying attention to the little things. Whether it's the name of your best friend's husband or the fact that you hate Nicolas Cage movies, it's the little things you remember about us that's so endearing.

8. Humor and Humility. These two tend to go hand in hand. This doesn't mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain us, but just being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down.

9. Challenge. Not the kind that makes a relationship constant work, but the good kind that surprises and motivates us to do, be, or achieve what we desire. Studies show that partners who prod each other to meet goals -- in other words, don't support lazy or bad habits -- are ultimately happier than those who don't hold each other accountable.


[Believe me, I know what I'm risking by putting this here. Go ahead, ridicule me, but don't tell me it didn't help you out, even if it's just a teeeeny weeeeny bit. Ok, now that sounds girly. Let me just stop :)]

Ajaira pechal

I can safely say that my favorite topic of conversation is: relationships, and by that I don't mean just romantic relationships. I often wonder what about them intrigues me, and I may have an answer - it is the different ways in which relationships are manifested; the fact that no two relationships are the same is what makes them special and interesting.

My friend from college, let's call her Mimi, started dating very early. In her mid teens, almost. A decade later she married her teen love. Now they have two kids. But the most interesting thing about their relationship was how they interacted in the presence of their significant other, and the absence of the significant other. When alone, she was confident, she took charge of things, she knew exactly what she wanted... but when he was with her, a transformation took place. She allowed him to be in charge, she almost took shelter in his arms, while he made the decisions. If she wanted something, she would tell him and he would take care of it. It was like her own little fairy tale, in which she was the princess, and he was her charming prince.

This slice of cake can be dissected in many ways. One way is very likely to be: the role of society and societal norms that people adhere to, and the role of patriarchy and tradition. Relatedly, the role of the media and fairy tales in determining how men and women in society should function together, which again shapes individual behavior is another way to look at it. Yet, another way to dissect it is by trying to understand behavior patterns among men and women, and their expectations from each other in different kinds of settings. In a romantic relationship, for example, the expectations are far different than it would be in a friendship. However, does gender change the dynamics of that friendship? People are often heard saying that men and women cannot 'just be friends'. While most women disagree, I find that men tend to agree with this. My take is on that is: men find it difficult to 'just be friends', while women are more at ease with it. In my experience, it's usually men who ruin male - female friendships by 'falling in love with the 'friend'.

I was talking to a friend of mine today about marriage. He claims that every 1 in 3 couples he knows are unhappy, and hence he thinks marriage is a bad idea. That led to a conversation about what women want from men, and vice versa. We managed to figure out that for men, sex was the 'polao', and additional emotional connection and love was the 'beresta' on top. For women, the sex was the 'beresta', and the emotional connection, the togetherness, being in love and so on, was the 'polao'. The question, ultimately was, ff such is the case, how do marriages survive? Most don't, we concluded. And the couples that survive love polao just as much as they love the beresta. Or they lie about it.

Alright, enough bakwas. Time to get to work.

shut it

Just recently i found out one more difference between the great cricket players and the good ones. The great ones don't talk nonsense. Ever. Case in point, Brett Lee, Hoggard and Flintoff. These three are some of the best players in the world today, although I'm not sure if Hoggard's still active or not. They've all done good work for their country, have stepped up to the plate and taken responsibility when it was required, especially Lee and Flintoff. But none of these are "great" players, and Hoggard will never be. And these three also happen to be 3 of my most favorite players. But all 3 have said things about their captains, Hoggard most recently, that's pissed me off. Michael Vaughn retired from cricket recently and obviously all the current players gushed about him as he was one of their most successful captains. Part of the gushing by Hoggard was that he compared Vaughn's captaincy with that of Nasser Hussain and maintained he preferred playing under Vaughn because he was such a nice guy on the field. Well fuck you Hoggard. We all remember what pathetic whiners English cricketers were in the nineties. And what pathetic losers they were, blaming everything else for their miserable performance except their lack of ability.

I always liked Hussain and when he took over the captaincy he knew he had to whip this sorry team into a fighting unit, and you can't do that by being a "nice guy" and holding hands and spouting soothing words and being sensitive to one's feelings. For the first time EVER, Hussain's England looked like they meant business. He picked youngsters like Hoggard and Flintoff and egged them on to the job along with his veteran bowlers Gough and Caddick. So he was a bit harsh on the field when you bowled rubbish, was he? Maybe that's why you learned the discipline required to win the ashes. Maybe that's why you guys suddenly went from complete losers to one of the most exciting Test teams to follow, you lousy uneducated trout!

Then there's the other 2 mighty intellects, Lee and Flintoff. Both said similar things when comparing their former captains to their current ones. They preferred playing under the current captain because under the current captain they had "more responsibility and a clear idea of what was required of them". Well whoop de do! Have you two stopped to consider that under your previous captains (Steve Waugh and Nasser Hussain) you guys were fresh lilies with little idea of how to take a wicket? To hear Flintoff and Lee talk, you'd think they appeared on the international scene as the accomplished players they are today. Whereas we who have viewed the game from a more objective point remember that Lee could just bowl fast and Flintoff could just bowl short of a length at medium pace. And it was through being under great captains like Waugh and Hussain that they blossomed. So that by the time they came under Ponting and Vaughn they ahd honed their craft to the point that the captain could give them proper responsibility and tell them exactly what was expected of them.

Bloody idiots. You never hear McGrath talking about oh how wonderful it was under Taylor, do you? Or Warne?

Fucking retards. Just shut it!

Little Feet Muffet

Is as sick as a bird. But no, it's not bird flu, thank God. Or any other kind of animal flu. 

Travels have been planned. Life has been put on hold. The weather's been accommodating. What else could I want? Better grades. But we can't have it all.

Travelling Back. And Forth.

Travel back to earlier decades by browsing through old newspapers and journal articles. Nothing more fascinating than figuring out the trajectory of things on your own. Sometimes you may wonder if this is the time you should've been born in, but I think mostly you'll realize how long we've come, and more importantly, how long the rest of the way is.

But while you're at it, don't forget to live the life you have now. We're here because we're meant to be here. And even if we were not meant to be here, the fact that we ARE here must count for -something-. I hope.

Edit: I know this sounds very blah, and perhaps even cliched but bear with me. Just a while longer.

time is a machine

My keyboard is messed up. It sounds like a typewriter when I type. All because of the ajaira lok who spilled MY drink on MY laptop. Talk about double jeopardy. Okay, maybe not the best application of the word, but cut me some slack, folks. I have competition. SB is on a roll, churning out random write ups like its free. Which it is, actually. But who get the gist.

I've been meaning to comment on a news report I read on bullying, analyse a certain Obama policy that I'm in favor of and mildy throw some chicken feed on swine flu, preferably separately, but since these will soon (in about an hour) become old news, I am having to briefly round up my thoughts.

Obama's policy: of releasing the 'torture' documents from the past administration's treatment of its alleged terrorists
Critism so far: the degradation of the Muslims and others will spur Anti American sentiment (as if it can get any worse than it did during Bush's regime)
I completely disagree with the critisim. I think, on the contrary, it sends a message to the world about Obama's transparency, and resolve to do what is right. He really is speaking to people like you (yes, you) and me here. We want to know the truth. It will make us angry, yes, but Obama is giving us the opportunity to be angry. Without this revelation, we would have been blissfully unaware. Us being angry is what some people are worried about, and perhaps some of that worry is justified, some of our Muslim brothers have not shown a great deal of level headedness in the past. But Obama has. He's a good thinker, he knows what's right, he can identify a touch situation and then, most importantly, he can remain cool headed at the same time. He really IS the savior of this nation of United States. And by allowing us to see what went wrong, he is really opening up the door to open, transparent communication.

At the same time, there is (as there should be) a political motive. He had to take heat for abolishing torture of war criminals and alleged criminals in custody. By revealing these documents, the nation gets to see what exactly he is abolishing. And the people have that right. A right that the former administration had taken away from the people, in the name of 'national security'. You have to realize, criticizing the former President was deemed 'unpatriotic' as Paul Krugman points out, and people just could do nothing about it. Bush had the 8 years he wanted to turn the budget surplus into a huge deficit and to completely destroy the financial sector on the domestic front and wage two horrendously failed wars internationally.

But, I digress.

My entire point may seem like: Yay for Obama and Down with Bush! But it really isn't. It's about human rights. And how it was taken away. Now that we have a chance of getting it back, the neocons are going crazy.

On to my other area of interest: bullying.

Kids often do things that they don't realize. Sometimes, they do. My friend was talking abour her daughter who already had a preference for friends who were White and who had blond hair like mommy, who gets frustrated with her friend who is autistic and ends up hitting her to get her to talk, which she never does. My friend told me because she as worried. She didn't want her daughter to be a bully, to pick on the minority. Because when she starts school, there will be people who are different from her, and her mother, and that differnce will be the basis of bullying.

The story I posted on fb earlier, about the 11 year old boy who commited suicide when he couldn't take the bullying in school anymore, I thought of my school, my friends. There weren't overt bullies that I can remember, but there were kids who were dominating, who would create problems for people who didn't conform to their 'style' by alienating them, shunning them, not inviting them to their birthday parties. All these little things to make people feel bad, they start from an early age, that mean streak, very obvious, untainted by social norms that dictate manners. Now, a dozen or so years later, I think about where they are. And I frankly don't know. They haven't become the starlets that they promised to be, they haven't gone on to become leaders of the new generation, they haven't really done much. They just had bullying tendencies when they were in school. That's the highlight of their lives. If you ask them, maybe it was the best time of their lives. Which brings me to: why do they do it? Various theories identify bullying among children: unrest at home, insecurities, mimicking what they see elsewhere and so on. But the more important question is: how do you stop it? As someone said, for children their problems are as big as ours, and when grown ups marginalize them, they feel just as bad as we do when our problems are marginalized. And this 11 year old boy's story exemplifies that. Only that his mother did try. But she really couldn't help him. The school failed him. The system failed him. May he rest in piece.

Swine flu: go away. Come again another day. Little Johnny wants to play. Joking. Don't come back. Just go! Sounds like it's the same thing as the bird flu. Killed dozens of people in New Mexico. Maybe 7 people in NYC has it (test results are due tomorrow) but it hasn't killed anyone in NYC yet. Suspecting it in Texas as well. Details are unclear (to me, atleast). Maybe it's a pandemic. But whatever it is, I'm glad I don't eat chicken. My suggestion: cook your chicken really well. Or just don't eat it. Don't die for chicken. And there's a med for it, in case you get it. So if you get it, don't panic. Help is out there.