Stranger in the mirror

A strand of light landed on my face, forcing me to turn away from it. I'm sensitive to light; it makes me cry. I don't know why that happens. I can't even remember when this started.
But it was too late. Tears rolled down my eyes. Once they roll, I can't stop it anymore. Gulping, I looked around me, the tears forming little droplets on my jacket. A therapist once told me that I am troubled, deep down. Told me that I am essentially very very sad. In a word, depressed. Gave me a couple of tablets to deal with it. I tried it for a while.

Meds for depression was seen as a novel idea when they first entered the social fabric of this nation, this world even. People with mental illness were not destined to end up in Pabna if they were in Bangladesh, or the suburban institutions that housed the physically and mentally ill in the U.S. They were, all of a sudden, allowed to be part of the community, part of real life. I was no different. I was allowed to merge with the crowds, lead a life like everyone else. I wasn't forced to be surrounded by calming white walls. The urban jungle was not seen as an aggravating agent.

Yet, peace eluded me. For a long, long time. And now I am a stranger, even to myself.


(c) Error in Design

:P

"The latest consumer item to be downsized this recession is breasts." Read more here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vanessa-richmond/breasts-shrink-with-econo_b_263721.html

Endowed women are smarter? Says some Chicago scientists:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/11/12/nation/5092076&sec=nation

nerdy = sexy?

Huff post analysis:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vanessa-richmond/are-nerdy-girls-sexy-now_b_108056.html

My 2 cents:

Why does everything have to be about feminism and the rights of women. Why do women have to act according to societal norms as portrayed by the media. Not all geeks are ugly - never were. And make up does not necessarily make someone pretty (even though it often can help, a lot). The article talks about the modern day geeks looking like cheerleaders, as if that's a good thing. I wonder when people will just start being them. When WOMEN will start living their lives. Or maybe they do. It's just that they're not written about. We, as a society, like putting people in boxes. We like labels. We pathologize. Ki j hobe.

Checkers

Linking marriage and terrorism - interesting analysis here:
http://www.pickledpolitics.com/archives/6493

And what's up with African American stars? Can they NOT keep negative attention away? OJ, Chris Brown and now Mike Tyson. What's up with that?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/11/mike-tysons-lax-paparazzi_n_354788.html

Speaking of AA, have anyone seen Michael Jackson's movie? I haven't. Want to. Soon. Someone get me a bootleg? :P Just kidding. I'm anti piracy. Well, not really. I don't care.

Fox and Other Animals

'It seems like Obama wants to be his own man when it comes to things in Afghanistan...' says the Fox newscaster. It appears, Obama wants to send more troops to Afghanistan.

I like Obama. But I can't agree that sending off more people to Afghanistan is the answer. I don't support "Support the Troops" stuff, but that's not because I'm anti-Army; I am anti government policies that interefere with the polictics and affairs of other countries. I didn't support US intervention in Rwanda or Sarajevo, and I don't support US intervension in Iraq. Afghanistan made sense, but not like this, not at this cost. And not only because the Afghans continue to suffer, but because everyone does. The US, the Afghans, and everyone involved.

My heart especially goes out to those kids who were dropped off in Afghanistan or Iraq, in the middle off no where at age 19. The kids who form the Army of the United States.

Where did the sudden empathy come from? Perhaps my plane ride to Texas.

I was sitting next to a 23 year old from the Air Force, who just returned from Afghanistan. He said, "I just want to come home, I've had enough", when I asked what he thinks about sending more troops there. He talked about his partner who lost a limb to Soviet landmines still planted across Afghanistan; he talked about an Afghan dwarf who sells trinkets right next to their base; he told me about the 13 year old boy who was married to multiple women in a village in Afghanistan. He showed me pictures of the dwarf, the boy, and himself in uniform. He showed me pictures of Afghanistan that he had taken from a copter. And my heart went out to him. At age 23, he has seen much more than he should have. He said, 'I feel bad when people support the bombing of army personnel in Afghanistan or Iraq. That means they want me to die'. I tried explaining that it was government policy that people were against, it was not them. I tried to explain to him how it was unfair that the people who were sending them off to war were not sending their own children off. I tried to get him to think about himself, not the country. And his maturity amazed me. I was getting upset by the injustice of it all, but he was calm. He smiled, and he said I didn't look as old as I was.

It was a long flight, but it flew by quickly. And at the end of it all, I was humbled, and sad. That 23 year old is just a few years older than my own brother, and I can't imagine sending him off to war. And yet there he was, forced to take on responsibility for himself and his country.