9 simple things that women want (from yahoo!)

Besides the meaning of life and the ingredients of hot dogs, many a man has questioned, "What exactly do women want?" We're not playing coy here, we know we're complex creatures. And, true, we operate on a different wavelength than men.

But women aren't exactly the great mystery that men often make us out to be. The proof? We polled the YourTango staff and compiled a list of 9 simple things women want. Note: you won't find diamond rings or other fancy things anywhere on this list. While many women really do want luxury goods from men, when you break it down they are just physical representations of some of the points on this list. We promise.

1. Respect. Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies, and minds. You don't have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.

2. Romance. It's another night on the couch with takeout and TiVo? Just because we're staying in doesn't mean the evening can't be romantic. Light a few candles and see where the night leads. Treat us like your girlfriend, even after we become your wife. Date nights, physical affection in the car, kissing like when we first started dating -- all of the things that made us fall in love with you don't have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids to be bathed. Bring home flowers for no reason. We're not talking $100 bouquets of roses here. Even the $10 bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make us smile.

3. Time. We understand relationships can't be all wine and roses; simply making the time to be with us and treating us like your top priority says "love" more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could. This includes helping around the house. The realities of a 21st-century relationship are that both partners probably work. If you happen to get home before we do, why not vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry? If you take the garbage out without being asked, chances are you'll be getting a big ole smooch when you come back.

4. Dinner. Of the homemade variety. You may not be good at cooking and you may not know how to boil water. But greeting us at the door after a long day with fish sticks (or whatever you can wrastle up) makes us swoon, because it shows that you've been thinking about us and our hectic day.

5. Communication. Women are vocal creatures. We know you love us, but it's nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren't, but the reality is that we often notice our wobbly thighs and forget about our gorgeous eyes. So let us know when you think we're hot. Tell us we're beautiful. It helps us feel good. Words of appreciation aren't half-bad either. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn't have to be over the top, just let us know that you see the effort we put in, and you're grateful.

6. Consistency. This doesn't mean be boring and predictable. It means that we know you will (usually -- no one is perfect!) give us the love and support we need. Knowing that you're coming at this with the same desires and energy as we are goes a long way to making us feel secure.

7. Engagement. Of the mental kind, not the "I'm getting married in the morning" kind. You don't have to like everything we like (we might be a little concerned if you do), but showing interest in our passions, be it career-related, a sport, or a hobby, goes a long way. Listen when we talk to you. We're not speaking just so we can hear our own voice; we want to connect with you and this is one valuable way we do this. This also means paying attention to the little things. Whether it's the name of your best friend's husband or the fact that you hate Nicolas Cage movies, it's the little things you remember about us that's so endearing.

8. Humor and Humility. These two tend to go hand in hand. This doesn't mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain us, but just being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down.

9. Challenge. Not the kind that makes a relationship constant work, but the good kind that surprises and motivates us to do, be, or achieve what we desire. Studies show that partners who prod each other to meet goals -- in other words, don't support lazy or bad habits -- are ultimately happier than those who don't hold each other accountable.


[Believe me, I know what I'm risking by putting this here. Go ahead, ridicule me, but don't tell me it didn't help you out, even if it's just a teeeeny weeeeny bit. Ok, now that sounds girly. Let me just stop :)]

Ajaira pechal

I can safely say that my favorite topic of conversation is: relationships, and by that I don't mean just romantic relationships. I often wonder what about them intrigues me, and I may have an answer - it is the different ways in which relationships are manifested; the fact that no two relationships are the same is what makes them special and interesting.

My friend from college, let's call her Mimi, started dating very early. In her mid teens, almost. A decade later she married her teen love. Now they have two kids. But the most interesting thing about their relationship was how they interacted in the presence of their significant other, and the absence of the significant other. When alone, she was confident, she took charge of things, she knew exactly what she wanted... but when he was with her, a transformation took place. She allowed him to be in charge, she almost took shelter in his arms, while he made the decisions. If she wanted something, she would tell him and he would take care of it. It was like her own little fairy tale, in which she was the princess, and he was her charming prince.

This slice of cake can be dissected in many ways. One way is very likely to be: the role of society and societal norms that people adhere to, and the role of patriarchy and tradition. Relatedly, the role of the media and fairy tales in determining how men and women in society should function together, which again shapes individual behavior is another way to look at it. Yet, another way to dissect it is by trying to understand behavior patterns among men and women, and their expectations from each other in different kinds of settings. In a romantic relationship, for example, the expectations are far different than it would be in a friendship. However, does gender change the dynamics of that friendship? People are often heard saying that men and women cannot 'just be friends'. While most women disagree, I find that men tend to agree with this. My take is on that is: men find it difficult to 'just be friends', while women are more at ease with it. In my experience, it's usually men who ruin male - female friendships by 'falling in love with the 'friend'.

I was talking to a friend of mine today about marriage. He claims that every 1 in 3 couples he knows are unhappy, and hence he thinks marriage is a bad idea. That led to a conversation about what women want from men, and vice versa. We managed to figure out that for men, sex was the 'polao', and additional emotional connection and love was the 'beresta' on top. For women, the sex was the 'beresta', and the emotional connection, the togetherness, being in love and so on, was the 'polao'. The question, ultimately was, ff such is the case, how do marriages survive? Most don't, we concluded. And the couples that survive love polao just as much as they love the beresta. Or they lie about it.

Alright, enough bakwas. Time to get to work.

shut it

Just recently i found out one more difference between the great cricket players and the good ones. The great ones don't talk nonsense. Ever. Case in point, Brett Lee, Hoggard and Flintoff. These three are some of the best players in the world today, although I'm not sure if Hoggard's still active or not. They've all done good work for their country, have stepped up to the plate and taken responsibility when it was required, especially Lee and Flintoff. But none of these are "great" players, and Hoggard will never be. And these three also happen to be 3 of my most favorite players. But all 3 have said things about their captains, Hoggard most recently, that's pissed me off. Michael Vaughn retired from cricket recently and obviously all the current players gushed about him as he was one of their most successful captains. Part of the gushing by Hoggard was that he compared Vaughn's captaincy with that of Nasser Hussain and maintained he preferred playing under Vaughn because he was such a nice guy on the field. Well fuck you Hoggard. We all remember what pathetic whiners English cricketers were in the nineties. And what pathetic losers they were, blaming everything else for their miserable performance except their lack of ability.

I always liked Hussain and when he took over the captaincy he knew he had to whip this sorry team into a fighting unit, and you can't do that by being a "nice guy" and holding hands and spouting soothing words and being sensitive to one's feelings. For the first time EVER, Hussain's England looked like they meant business. He picked youngsters like Hoggard and Flintoff and egged them on to the job along with his veteran bowlers Gough and Caddick. So he was a bit harsh on the field when you bowled rubbish, was he? Maybe that's why you learned the discipline required to win the ashes. Maybe that's why you guys suddenly went from complete losers to one of the most exciting Test teams to follow, you lousy uneducated trout!

Then there's the other 2 mighty intellects, Lee and Flintoff. Both said similar things when comparing their former captains to their current ones. They preferred playing under the current captain because under the current captain they had "more responsibility and a clear idea of what was required of them". Well whoop de do! Have you two stopped to consider that under your previous captains (Steve Waugh and Nasser Hussain) you guys were fresh lilies with little idea of how to take a wicket? To hear Flintoff and Lee talk, you'd think they appeared on the international scene as the accomplished players they are today. Whereas we who have viewed the game from a more objective point remember that Lee could just bowl fast and Flintoff could just bowl short of a length at medium pace. And it was through being under great captains like Waugh and Hussain that they blossomed. So that by the time they came under Ponting and Vaughn they ahd honed their craft to the point that the captain could give them proper responsibility and tell them exactly what was expected of them.

Bloody idiots. You never hear McGrath talking about oh how wonderful it was under Taylor, do you? Or Warne?

Fucking retards. Just shut it!