Ajaira pechal

I can safely say that my favorite topic of conversation is: relationships, and by that I don't mean just romantic relationships. I often wonder what about them intrigues me, and I may have an answer - it is the different ways in which relationships are manifested; the fact that no two relationships are the same is what makes them special and interesting.

My friend from college, let's call her Mimi, started dating very early. In her mid teens, almost. A decade later she married her teen love. Now they have two kids. But the most interesting thing about their relationship was how they interacted in the presence of their significant other, and the absence of the significant other. When alone, she was confident, she took charge of things, she knew exactly what she wanted... but when he was with her, a transformation took place. She allowed him to be in charge, she almost took shelter in his arms, while he made the decisions. If she wanted something, she would tell him and he would take care of it. It was like her own little fairy tale, in which she was the princess, and he was her charming prince.

This slice of cake can be dissected in many ways. One way is very likely to be: the role of society and societal norms that people adhere to, and the role of patriarchy and tradition. Relatedly, the role of the media and fairy tales in determining how men and women in society should function together, which again shapes individual behavior is another way to look at it. Yet, another way to dissect it is by trying to understand behavior patterns among men and women, and their expectations from each other in different kinds of settings. In a romantic relationship, for example, the expectations are far different than it would be in a friendship. However, does gender change the dynamics of that friendship? People are often heard saying that men and women cannot 'just be friends'. While most women disagree, I find that men tend to agree with this. My take is on that is: men find it difficult to 'just be friends', while women are more at ease with it. In my experience, it's usually men who ruin male - female friendships by 'falling in love with the 'friend'.

I was talking to a friend of mine today about marriage. He claims that every 1 in 3 couples he knows are unhappy, and hence he thinks marriage is a bad idea. That led to a conversation about what women want from men, and vice versa. We managed to figure out that for men, sex was the 'polao', and additional emotional connection and love was the 'beresta' on top. For women, the sex was the 'beresta', and the emotional connection, the togetherness, being in love and so on, was the 'polao'. The question, ultimately was, ff such is the case, how do marriages survive? Most don't, we concluded. And the couples that survive love polao just as much as they love the beresta. Or they lie about it.

Alright, enough bakwas. Time to get to work.